You know, I was going to compose an entry about how I've lived in Chicago for so long it's totally making me crazy and who the hell would have ever guessed, when I moved here 10 years ago, that I'd still be here now?
And then I was going to complain about the government cronyism and the mismanaged city infrastructure and how completely annoying I find how slowly everyone here moves (Seriously people, "rush hour," look it up.) I woke up this morning with a hangover and I've been sitting here with it all day but I'm still in a fan-freakin-tastic mood. You know, some days, you wake up smelling roses even when you accidentally step in dog shit on the way to the bus stop.
10 years is a ridiculously long time. It's pretty much my entire, independent, adult life and I've lived it all here in this Fly Over State. And yes, it has been a rocky road. And also yes, this place does make me completely cuckoobananas most of the time. But, if I hadn't stuck it out, if I hadn't passively decided to not decide to move away I wouldn't be where I am today, which is 9 days away from getting married, among other places.
That's pretty cool.
I wouldn't have the friends I have now, friends that are family. Friends I share the good times with and help bear up in the bad times.
Friends who over serve me wine whenever I ask nicely.
I never would have become a stage manager, I wouldn't know half as much as I do about theater or have seen as many shows. I wouldn't have sang as much karaoke or developed such intense feelings about pizza and bagels (you don't know what you've got til it's gone.) And in the end I don't know if I could possibly be happier anywhere else.
Listen, don't get me wrong. I miss the hell out of New York. It's my home and I love it and every day, no matter how happy I am here in Chicago, I think about New York but the idea of moving back there scares the shit out of me. Moving anywhere, packing up, starting over, building a new life...it scares me.
But, someone told me once that change is good. I didn't want to hear it then but it turns out he was right (loathe as I am to admit that.) And change wont kill me. And what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
But, you know, let's just take this whole thing one change at a time please.
10 years. It's a long time. But, I'm still here.