Wednesday, February 23, 2005

"Here's your Kool-Aid. Now, get on the Arc."

"People were made to live two-by-two."
- Thorton Wilder's Mrs. Gibbs
"Our Town"

So, I know (off the top of my head) 10 couples getting married within the next 18 months. I wish them all the best of luck with that whole thing. But, I can't help but wonder what caused this overwhelming trend among my friends. We're all in our mid-twenties to mid-thirties. We're all healthy. Well "healthy." We're all white...which is something I've never really stopped to realize until just this second (seriously.) We're all moderately surviving on various financial levels. Is it just the natural imperative that good ole Thorton eluded to? It must be, right?

There has to be a science to it. The scent of someone's neck. The whole fluttery brain thing that happens - getting all flustered and hot when you try to talk to them the first thousand times. The way they can put their arm around your waist and squeeze just the right spot. Biological Geometry? Does that make sense? I don't know. But I do know that there is something really basically instinctual about falling in love that we've all had stirring around in the back of our brains for a long time by this point in our lives.

Is there anyone over the age of ...let's say 16, just so it plays in the sticks...who doesn't think about marriage? Not "obsess" over marriage, just think about marriage. Everyone does. We think about what type of person they will be. We think about what the ceremony will be like.

Quick side note: When I was around 14 years old I had the perfect ceremony planned down to the type of shoes I would be wearing....there were a lot of maroon and blood red roses involved. Heh heh, that's pretty funny looking back on it now.

Anyway, so OK maybe I went a little far with that. But I was young and you get what I'm talking about. Established: we have all thought about marriage, and what it will mean, to some degree or another.

So, all this thinking about it and then all of a sudden BOOM. The person you are dating is suddenly The One. That one, the one you want to grow old and into rocking chairs on the porch with. The one who is all and everything. So what do you do? You get married. Right, sure. Absolutely. You get married. There's a ring, and some phone calls and a few parties. Some time later there's The Big Show.

It's a show. I've worked on enough shows to know one when I see one. A wedding is just a really expensive, one-night-only, show. If done correctly it is the best show people have seen since, well the last wedding probably. It's a production. You have lines to memorize, there is an audience. Everyone claps at the end and then we all go to the bar to celebrate. Seriously, it's theater. So there has to be some science to the whole thing. If there is a science to "falling in love" - pheromone, brain impulses, erogenous zones...yep, that's science - then there is a science to making The Big Show happen properly.

It's not an EXACT science. I've been to some pretty unmemorable weddings that had every good intention. But there is definitely a science to it.

I have absolutely no idea what the formula is. But, I have 8 shows to see this year. I figure the key must be out there somewhere. My mom said to me "Eight weddings? Maybe your friends are trying to tell you something."

It's possible. But, my friends are not that subtle. Nor are they all that concerned with my marriage status. But maybe they will be able to tell me something else.

And maybe in the end, my mom might just get lucky.

(That was in no way a binding statement of any kind.)


bart said...

Hey Jen, My Bachelor party is on the 17th of March in Chicago. Jessica gave me permission to have strippers, but I said I didn't need would be there.

Mego said...

Right before I read your post I had just hung up the phone with a retail establishment called "Exclusives for the Bride." My sister is marrying exactly four months from tomorrow, and I must try on bridesmaids dresses (costumes) for the blessed nuptial event (show). And over at "Exclusives" on Superior Street in Chicago, apparently non-brides are on the sub-basement of the totem pole. I actually had to bleat the words "I'm-the-Maid-of-HONOR" down the phone line to wheedle an appointment out of the not-so-nice lady in the shop on, yes...Superior Street.

Maybe the semantics of wedding-language should also be examined. Cause it's freaking me out, dude.

hszoo said...

In the past two months - 4 of my friends and my sister have gotten engaged or set dates for their weddings...but we're not all white (hee hee).
My ex-boyfriend and I now have bets going as to who's getting married next. Out of our group of friends from bklyn, there's less than a handful who are still singe. Since I'm a "divorcee" we're debating if i count or not.

A lot of weddings are events for the families (aka parents), not the couple. I think we should change the tradtion of the formal ceremony and just have receptions (with lots of booze). It's a celebration right? (Well at least you know what my "wedding" would be like

The only wedding I want to go to is the one set in a Brewery, but it's also the only one i can't make...figures.

littledevilworks said...

I hear you. My two best friends from high school are getting married 2 weeks apart in the Spring and I'm maid of honor in both... one is a "Costume Wedding" - 1880's Victorian ball gowns that we have to make. When did everyone decide it was no longer fashionable to be single? :)

littledevilworks said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vegas said...

Single will always be fashionable. It's just a lot harder to explain registering for your birthday than it is for a wedding.

Mego said...

That's why someone has to just cross that damn line start the Birthday Gift Registry. Who wants to go use the gun at Target with me?? Woo-hoo!