Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Baconator

Who'da thunk it? That cute little red-headed girl with the Pipi Longstocking braids is trying to kill us. My money has always been on the clown. And, in recent years, I've been hedging my bets with that creepy puppet king. But now I am pretty sure it's the pipsqueak who is going to do us in.

Have you seen this thing? It borders on gastronomic insanity. You eat one of these and you're practically saying "Here I am Lord. Come and take me."

Don't get me wrong. I love me some bacon. And, I love me some cheeseburgers. And I have, indeed, been known to chow down on a bacon cheeseburger or two in my day (OK, yesterday.) But still. There is a line and I do believe The Baconator crosses it. Crosses it, spits on it, rubs it's shoe in the dirt and then runs screaming away from the line waving it's arms. "Nyah, nyah you can't catch me!"

Does one person actually need to ingest that much meat, salt, fat and byproduct in one sitting?
Dostoevsky once said “The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.” But I say an equally valid judgement of civilization can be made by observing what we eat when no one is cooking for us. When left to our own devices, what are we ingesting? Are we seeking out meals? Or are we going for the quick cheap?

There is a lot to be said about the quick cheap. Namely that it is quick and cheap. And prolific. There is a fast food joint on virtually every corner and you can eat a full "meal" for around $5 any and every day at any one of them.

Which is a shame. Because it's very difficult to have the media, and your doctors and the government shouting into one ear about how you have to eat healthier. You have to cut out fats and eat more vegetables, get less sodium and drink more water. And, in the other ear you've got multi-million dollar corporations shouting about their new, triple stack double cheese, bacon, ham and mayonnaise sandwich combo death wish and a soda.

And we've done this to ourselves. The American love affair with fast food is as old as the interstate highway system. The more we buy, the more they try to sell us. But really we should reign it in a little here folks. Because this a slippery slope. You know that the next step is a slab of salt pork shoved into the middle of a frosted donut.

Oh, wait.


bryan said...

I got the salad instead of the fries with it. That has to count for something, no?

Vegas said...

I dunno. Was there cheese on the salad? I don't think it counts as a salad if it's covered in cheese.

God. I love cheese.