I hate awards shows.
Seriously. They are horrible and fascinating all at the same time. And here I sit, watching Ray Romano rif on his post-show home life. He's got a nice gold tie on but he needs a haircut.
He's presenting an award. I thought he was doing a bit.
Ohhhhh Two and a Half Men is nominated for...something. Best comedy show I suppose. Best supporting actor in a comedy series.
Commmme oooooon Neil Patrick Harris!
Booooooo Jeremy Piven. I am maybe supposed to be rooting for him. Coming from that Prestigious Chicago Theater family and all.
He'll always be stupid Cupid to me.
But aww with the dedicating the award to his dead dad. Aw.
Vanessa Williams and America Ferrer look good. I was just watching the E! True Hollywood Story about Vanessa Williams today. God. What is WRONG with me? I watched 2 of those stupid THS episodes today. AND I know they call it THS.
I have a disease.
Creepy bald-headed dude from Lost just won Best Supporting Actor in a Drama. He's wearing a bright pink shirt. That's interesting. I really don't care. I don't watch that show. I tried, maybe twice and it was just too much for my brain to do after work and dinner.
God, I wish Macy's was as awesome as that commercial just made it seem.
I remember when Macy's was almost glamorous...Except the one near Queens Center Mall. That one has always been pretty shady. Nice parking lot though. The new one here in Chicago? Not everything I remember Macy's being at all. Oh well. I do most of my shopping at Old Navy anyway.
This is a lot of commercials. It was like that with the VMAs last week also. Too many commercials, not enough award presenting. Guess everyone's gotta pay the bills.
Do we think Sally Field was excited for Seacrest to bring up The Flying Nun?
Ooooh Tina Fey and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. So pretty. So funny. I totally vote for Elizabeth Perkins for supporting actress in a comedy. I love Elizabeth Perkins. Ahh but Jamie Presley wins. OK, I guess but she's no Elizabeth Perkins. She's got some sort of old lady dress on. Or it's her shiny red breast bone that makes her look old? Aww she's cryin. Awww. So many touching moments so far.
Hey, it's the guy who looks like our friend Van. That Friday Night Lights guy. Him and Kartherine Heigle's lips are presenting best supporting actor in a mini-series. I haven't seen any of these but I hear Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee was good. Wings and Wine Movie guy wins it! Thomas Hayden-Church. Whatever. Sandman. He's thanking Robert Duvall though so that's cool. But now he is crying too. I think they almost played him off. Or they just added dramatic violins when the tears started welling.
Ellen DeGeneres introduces a montage of one liners. Which seems to be an excuse to highlight the stand-up men who host talk shows now. Or maybe it's a tribute to Tom Snyder? Did he just die or something? Why was that part of the one liners montage?
Eva Longoria and the Entourage guys present for supporting actress in a drama. Ooh Rachel Griffiths. I like her. And Aida Turturro. Nice. Way to go New Paltz alumna! Katherine Heigle wins it though. I don't watch Grey's Anatomy either so I don't care again. I'm gonna go spell check all the names I've put in here so far while she makes her speech.
Jon Cryer is sooo stoked right now. Walking out there with Jennifer Love Hewitt on his arm. Oh Ducky. He's funny. I like him. Variety, Music or Comedy series. Woohooo Comedy Central! I am so conflicted! Who do I root for? Colbert or Stewart?? Or Letterman with his montage of favorite Bush moments? And it's Conan. But it's some producer guy making the speech and really, when you GIVE Conan an award don't you think it would be a good idea to let him make the speech?
Christina Aguilera and Tony Bennett duet time. It would be hilarious if Britney Spears rushed the stage from the wings right now. Christina looks good. Hell, so does Tony. How come the male dancers have their shirts unbuttoned? She's got that weird back of the throat voice though. It's OK I guess.
Alec Baldwin. Woot. Looks hot in a white jacket. Poor ole Alec. He's had a rough year. And Tony Bennett's show beat Colbert's. I wonder if that means he's going to have Tony Bennett on. Maybe he'll challenge Conan to a duel of some kind.
Everyone, even the criers, have been doing a pretty good job on timing their speeches.
Ooh! Ooh! Jack Bauer is presenting an award. So hot. Want to touch the Bauer. What a great voice. Robert Duvall wins for...something. Lead Actor in a mini-series. Broken Trail. He's totally gonna be the one who busts the stop-watch. I bet it's really hard to get Robert Duvall to stop talking once you get him started.
Here comes the exit music. That was a nice speech though. All about how Westerns are uniquely American. How they are stories that belong to us.
Ha ha ha. The Jersey Boys are going to pay musical tribute to The Sopranos. Ha ha. How ironic. Annnnd it's a commercial for Bertoli pasta after that out-tro. Nice. Way to feed a stereotype FOX.
Oh TMZ on TV. How did we ever get along without you? I can't even bring myself to pretend to be interested in that show. Because, if I pretend to be interested it wont take long for me to actually be interested. That's how I fell into the trap with the internets. I started out mocking the websites that I now check, like, six times a day.
Queen Latifah, in a smokin' hot red dress, honors the 30th anniversary of Roots. I was one. I didn't see it. I do remember the MASH finale and the Who Shot JR episode of Dallas though. That was some good TV right there. Oh, and here's the cast of Roots. That's pretty dope. Standing ovation. Very nice. Sally Field looks really proud. Ben Vereen looks funny. And I still can't look at LeVar Burton without singing the Reading Rainbow theme song in my mind. Lou Gossett Jr. got old. They're presenting the Emmy for outstanding mini-series to Broken Trail - that Robert Duvall western. That's better than them having to give it to Debra Messing for Starter Wife.
See, these guys know to let Duvall talk. Although, again, probably hard not to let him talk. All these guys really want a chance to say something. You can tell. The guy holding the award is practically doing the pee-pee dance. Oh well.
Doogie is making hetero jokes. I love it. Or, I hate it because he should be making gay jokes. Either way. Love me some NPH. But I'm not sure what just happened. They presented the nominees and then introduced the next presenter as the winner of the award without giving an award... Oh, this lady got her award last night. What a rip off for her.
Um. There are still two more hours of this show? Gah. No way am I going to be able to keep this going. I'm boring myself. I don't think I can even watch any more of it. But I so want to see what Kanye West is going to do.
Damn you award show! Daaaaaamn Youuuuuuuuu!